Even after a successful season, Max Best’s work is never done.
From: Emsy bebs
To: Maxy bebs
I asked Henri what I should get for your birthday and he said ‘a personal message from Paul Parker’. I thought he was making a joke about the Wrexham manager but I googled and there’s a Man United player called Paul Parker so I asked him to give you some advice on becoming a better player. He got 19 caps for England, won the Premier League twice and the FA Cup and League Cup once so he knows what he’s talking about.
Hope you like it. If the video doesn’t work, you can click here.
To: Emma
Please don’t tell Manchester United legends that I’m volatile. Thanks. Henri was 100% joking by the way.
But I love it. I will try to be less volatile. Thanks bebs.
From: Jackie
To: Max
You’re in the big leagues, now lad! You made it to the BBC website! Check out this screenshot.
From: Max
Charge your phone, dude.
From: MD
To: Max
Inga’s just been in saying your business cards have arrived and should she pay the invoice. Were you drunk when ordering? The email address is deeply weird, your job title is back to front, and there’s a photo of what appears to be a Filipino man. Can you explain? Attaching a photo.
From Max
Yeah that’s mint. Just what I wanted. That’s the model from the business card template. I thought it’d be funny to keep his pic and by the way, it IS funny. Also, my job title is not back to front. If I’m handing out cards it’s to people who need to know that I’m a manager. Manager-Player. Good name for my book. Remind me in five years.
From: Spectrum
To: Max
Max not sure what to do about this. You know if you type an email address wrong it gets delivered to the general inbox? Brooke got one from her dad and I don’t know what to do with it. It’s an audio file and seems to be an advertisement for their chain of supermarkets. I’m sending it to you. Please tell me what to do because she scares me.
To: Brookr@chesterfc
From: Daddy Star
Brooke did you block me on whassup? That ain’t right! Now quit yer foolin’ with yer soccer boy and get back over here and help ran the family bizniss. I’m sendin a clip of our new radio spots. Gonna have them all over Texas the week of the Hog Wrustlin’ Championships. Have a lusten and tell me whut yall be thinkin.
From: Max
What you need to do is get over there and bring me back some Wichita Grizzle Sticks. Not sure about Fredericksberg Fried Eggs but we can give them a try.
From: Max
To: All staff
I’ve started to see these images pop up in our shared spaces. I know you all know what I’m talking about but just so you can’t pretend, I’m talking about this:
I’m not even going to get started on the font but I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this. THE OFFICIAL SPELLING AT CHESTER FOOTBALL CLUB IS OKAY.
That’s an O and a K and an A and a Y.
Okay?
From: Brig
To: Max
Sir,
As you know Brooke and I have been visiting the university to discuss an alliance with their statistics department. They are, broadly speaking, dead keen. I am not sure if they will continue to be so keen when I go without Brooke, but that’s by the by. I’m attaching a PowerPoint they whipped up with impressive speed.
From: Max
I’m on the go. Can you send me screenshots?
From: Brig
Certainly, sir. The cover image announces that it’s an expected goal for and against analysis.
The second speaks of the dreaded ‘before times’.
The third shows life under Sandra.
Finally, The Age of Max.
From: Max
That’s mint. Could be useful to show board dudes etc. Spectrum can explain it all while I doodle poems. Can’t decide if I want to master limericks or haikus next.
Let’s invite them to some training sessions and matches and stuff and see how we can work together.
From: Brooke
To: Max
I want to make some t-shirts for the Chester Chatters volunteers to wear. I would need a couple hundred pounds to create a test run. I have a design concept for your approval. The label is 2025 and will change every year if the program is continued.
From: Brooke
To: Max
I created a short animation to go on our socials explaining the solar panels plan.
From: Max
Yes to everything. Um… better turn comments off on the solar thing.
From: Brooke
You already told me to turn all comments off.
From: Max
I am wise.
By the way, as part of his duties, Spectrum got an email meant for you sent by a family member. He is nervous you will be mad at him. This will be a great opportunity for you to demonstrate the diplomacy and sophistication we’re famous for.
From: Brooke
I see. Thank you for the heads-up but I don’t see the problem. It’s not his fault.
On re-read – Family member, huh? Maybe you ARE wise.
Credits
This weirdness was possible with the help of
- Ted Steel
- Loretta Steel
- Nuisance Cat Steel
- Overprepared GM
- Urland